Perfect — Smerfect. Let’s demystify the notion that your wedding day is going to be “perfect.” That’s a myth the bridal industry has been perpetuating to keep the wheels of commerce greased with your hard earned dollars. In brief, the tale goes something like this: the more money you spend the more perfect your day will be. NOT!
Now that you’re in on the industry’s dirty little secret, what can you do with this information? A few things to keep in mind: your wedding day is indeed one of the most important days of your life. In a very real sense, it is the first day of the rest of your new life with your spouse. But this event does not demand perfection. Instead, don’t sweat the common bridal fears below but do what you can to pre-empt total wedding chaos. If your fears materialize—and some will—smile, laugh and think of how funny the story of your “perfect” day will be in years to come.
1. The Zit that Won’t Quit
If you’re one of those brides that has been graced with blemish-
free skin all her life, count yourself among the lucky. Fortune has smiled upon you. If you stress too much about your perfect day, however, chances are your skin will meet with an unsightly visitor, who insists on staying for the wedding.
If this happens to you, it’s too late to start pondering Proactiv products or other popular over-the-counter ointments. You’ll need to take some steps that have a more immediate effect.
First, remember poking and prodding your pimple will only make it worse. Gentle exfoliation and cleansing followed by a small amount of anti-blemish cream are the first steps to hiding your unwelcome guest. Next, apply a primer to even out your skin’s texture. Then, use a concealer on and around the pimple. A word of caution: Don’t overdo the makeup so that it looks caked-on.
Although you will think everyone who sees you is looking through your concealer into your third eye, they aren’t. You’re the bride, and you look gorgeous in your dress. Of course, the guests are staring at you!
2. The Classic Trip and Fall
You, and many other brides-to-be, have imagined your graceful journey down the aisle a hundred times since the proposal. What’s more? You’ve imagined that you trip and fall at least twice as many times. Seasoned wedding officiants can attest to seeing hundreds of unsteady brides make their way to the alter. Brides are immortalized on YouTube faltering on their stilettos, wobbling on their platforms, or slipping on their slick-bottomed flats. So, yes, this could be you! However, it doesn’t have to be.
Just take a few precautions: practice walking in your new shoes and dress before the wedding; consider lower heels if you are wobbly; and ditch the runner, as shoes tend to get caught up on them. Then, breath easy and walk slowly and steadily. If you stumble and fall on your duff, don’t worry, every smartphone will catch you on video! So, laugh your duff off before getting up.
3. Abandoned at the Altar or Runaway Bride
Which of the following do you think is a bride’s worst fear: that
she is abandoned at the altar or that she doesn’t make it there herself? If you guessed the second one, you’re correct! Various surveys have revealed a bride doesn’t fear that she’ll have mild case of “cold feet”; rather, she is frightened that smoke will rise from her heels as she burns rubber escaping the groom’s embrace.
If you’ve been waking up in a cold-sweat from nightmares that the groom is not your forever guy, you may have a problem. Talking this out with him, your parents, your close friend and/or even a counselor would be smart. Before the wedding, analyze your fears openly and honestly to determine if there’s a real impediment to marriage. More likely than not, you’re just having a temporary case of pre-wedding jitters. This kind of anxiety is common and frequently brought on by the months of stress from planning the “perfect” wedding.
4. Memory Lapse or Freudian Slip
If you’re old enough to remember the show Friends, you probably know the episode where Ross, former long-time boyfriend to Rachel, is getting married to Emily. Yet, when Ross is at the altar, he calls Emily Rachel! Although that might be funny in a sitcom, in real life, if the bride called the groom by her ex-boyfriend’s name, that probably wouldn’t provoke laughter from the groom.
If this happens, ah … I got nothing for you here. Even if this was a memory lapse, it’s pretty weird that you forgot your fiancé’s name. It either means that you have early onset dementia, or it was a Freudian slip. Both are bad and, for different reason, require stepping away from the alter. The good news is this fear so rarely manifests into fact that is truly almost fiction. No worries.
5. My In-Laws Hate Me
Some brides have this nagging feeling that their in-laws just don’t like them. The in-laws haven’t expressed any direct dislike. It’s just a sense the bride gets from them. She thinks she might have seen her mother-in-law shoot her a look of reproof at dinner, when the bride ordered the most expensive dish on the menu. Her father-in-law never seems to listen to a word the she says. But the bride isn’t sure if his lack of attention is because he thinks she’s stupid or is due to his defective hearing aide. Is their dislike real or imagined?
Whatever the case may be, the bride fears that when the officiant asks if anyone knows a reason they shouldn’t marry, her in-laws will stand up. In unison, they will commence a long list of grievances demonstrating that she is not worthy of their son.
This is certainly a scary prospect. No one wants to feel their in-laws disapprove of their marriage. But if you’ve made it as far as the wedding day and have discussed these worries with your husband-to-be, let go of the fear. Even in the unlikely event that it’s true, the groom’s parents are not going to invite all their friends to the wedding, pay for the rehearsal dinner, and then object to your union. It’s too embarrassing and costly. While that reasoning may not be entirely comforting, it’s sound. Besides, as long as you and the groom love each other, you can face anything together.
Have a happy, even if imperfect, wedding day!